Me, On photography...

I take pictures almost everyday.
I want to be able to get so profoundly in tune with the moment, that I can capture it exactly as I see it happening in my head.
It's hard to completely communicate your mind through the medium of a lens, but it works more accurately sometimes that my words.
I find that this form of expression evokes an emotion and a reaction from those who see my photos.
At first I wasn't really aware of my point of view as unique or different, but if you know me... well, then you know how photographing is an obsession I have taken on many years back.
As soon as I was able to document my life, I have been.
It was disposable cameras, then film cameras, then in 8th grade I asked for a video camera. It was the beginning of a real understanding of how I can use this medium to portray my world outside of myself.
Charlotte and Jordan, my middle school compardres had to, over time, get used to the video camera in their faces everyday. And they did.
I learned to edit the film on my VHS player, by cutting and looping film...
Then when I got a computer, I was able to make small weird films.
Matt was always the photographer of me. So I felt it was unnecessary for the reverse.
But As the years went on I took film production classes, and was known as the girl with the video camera. I met my first college roommate in the dorms with a video camera in my hand.. I wonder what she thought at first... well she got used to it quite fast.
We were the only ones in the building with pictures of ourselves vainly covering our entire door!
Images!!!!I have always been obsessed. WHY?
Video reenactment! Fascinates me...
If you have been in my life, you have been videotaped and photographed at length... When you wake up, when you are on the toilet, when we are in the car... everywhere..

Now, I felt about a year ago that this obsession needed to stop. That I was going to try to remove the lens and just live in the moment...
I wrote it in my journal and I learned to be careful what I wished for.
The power of words is very strong
The next day- I lost everything I owned in a car accident. My Camera, video camera, laptop, ipood, clothes etc, etc...all in a freezing river in British Columbia..
I was so ALIVE! Present and aware of the moment like never before.
When I was leaving for Europe, my mom let me barrow her camera because she knew how important it was for me to see the world and show what I see.
Since I came back from Europe, I have been as religious about it.
The feedback only encourages me.
People find it emotionally evoking and are somewhat intrigued. So I am finally getting some recognition for the 100,000 images or more I was dedicated to taking.
Not only will I continue, but I want to learn more
I just purchased a polaroid camera off a lady from craigslist yesterday, and was gifted a 35 mm film camera, I have a holga I need to use more.
I am developing 30 photos for my first gallery at coffeeline for August. Small but something.
I have shot a wedding, an engagement, a friend in a studio, and some interior design shots.
If i really was able to work as a photographer and get paid well to do this, I would be lucky.
I am of course scared I am never good enough for that. But know I am not half bad. I just need to learn to do more professional type work.
To Do list:
Make business cards
Website
set up the gallery at coffeeline (prints and frames)
buy macro lens
develop holga film
purchase polaroid film
find more small jobs
start the Honuguide photos
purchase an external harddrive
put together a portfolio